New Moon Shift

What a tumultuous past 6 months! It feels as if my world was shaken. The quasi-earthquake of my emotions was tossed and turned and chewed and churned. It started with a very harsh verbal response from someone whom I had seen as family. I agree that the individual had every right to be upset with me for a completely unintentional mistake I made that was devastating to me as well as the other individual. I was not prepared for the torrential verbal storm, and it hurt almost as much as the incident. I made my sincere apologies and took responsibility for the part I played in the incident. Evenso, I experienced an emotional setback that took a half of a year's dedicated hard work to regain my stability. While I cannot say that I am completely healed, I can say with assurance that I am in an emotionally healthy space. For that I am very grateful.

With fervent, consistent prayer, building and maintaining boundaries, and working with a therapist, I am healing. With my healing has come some profound revelations. Now that the wind has ceased, and the storms have moved aside, the debris has cleared and the clouds have rolled away, I feel the peace that comes after the storm. Yesterday, my therapist and I agreed that I have shifted into the person who is authentically me. It has been a long journey. It has been a journey of half of a century of giving more than it was healthy to give, and carrying the pains of situations that were generally not mine to carry. I have come to realize that my adult life has been one of sacrifice with very few rewards. However, for the past six months, I have done the heaving lifting, and now I am shifting.

Without realizing it, I gave away much too much of myself to people who were not willing to allow me to be who I was authentically supposed to be. Now, I am giving myself permission to be the person I willingly set aside 50 years ago. Life is different at 73 than it was at 23, but now, I am free to embrace the beautiful, loving, kind, caring, faithful person I was then, and am determined to be again. Of course, my physical abilities have diminished, but my spirit is rejuvenated, so with the new moon, I emerge as the new me. For whatever years I have ahead of me, I plan to live this life and that more abundantly. I owe that to the world awaiting the wonderful gifts I have to give. I am creative, talented, wise, and gifted. I am joyful, fun-loving and free-spirited. I plan to do the wotk that I was destined to do and do it with authenticity, joy, and love. I am excited about my future.