REACH OUT AND TOUCH

My cousin Triphena is 90 years old. She is actually my father's oldest living relative. Before my father died, he made it a point to visit with family near and far. He was a quiet man, but had a winning smile and a caring heart. After he died, about 15 years ago, I inadvertently took up his torch. I made an effort to visit the relatives he had left behind.

Cousin Phena proclaims with a grin, "My father and your father were first cousins!" She tells me that almost every time I mention my father, George Washington Frasier. Cousin Phena lives in Philadelphia where I also live. Therefore, it was not a task to keep in touch with her. A few years after my father's death, Cousin's Phena's health declined. It looked like the end was near. However, with lots of tender loving care from me and an endless line of health care professionals, she bounced back. However, she needed someone to be her designated power of attorney. By default, I inherited her. What a joy and a challenge! She is strong, feisty, and full of opinions! Although her health improved drastically, it was decided that the best placement for her to get the services she needed was a nursing care facility. My sister and I found a good one not too far from where we live. For the past several years, she has earned the title, "The Big Boss with the Hot Sauce." Everyone at the care facility knows her and look forward to their humorous interactions with her.

My sister and I have made sure to include Cousin Phena on outings, family dinners, and other special events. We even took her to a John Legend concert and included a back stage pass! Of course, she now claims him as her best friend. Our cousin, Chubby Checker, visits often. They sit quietly and talk in her room while the nursing staff meander past her door to get a glimpse. This too makes Cousin Phena a celebrity! Other family members have visited, and have brought her the foods she loves. "I'm a soul sister! I needs me some soul food!" She keeps everyone laughing.

Recently, her vibrant personality took a dive. She had been promised a trip to a family event with relatives of her late husband. Due to some miscommunications and cross signals, she did not go. She was sad and depressed. I had never seen this, and it worried me. The nursing staff recommended medication. We refused. I knew what she needed. She needed to feel loved. She needed to feel included. She needed to feel connected. I made some frantic calls to her family members and friends. I explained the situation. Cousin Phena was ready to clock out and go join her beloved husband. At 90, with some people, this might be an acceptable choice. But, not for Cousin Phena. Several people answered the call to rally around her and keep her around. It worked! Now, Cousin Phena is basically back to herself! She is ready to write her second book. Her first book, "Day Done Dawn," is available on Amazon, so that makes her a celebrity! When I visited a few days ago, I presented her with a platter of food, as I always do. She responded, "I'm so glad you brought me something I can eat! This stuff on this tray," she said pointing to what looked like a fairly good meal to me, "is something I wouldn't give to my dog or my hog!" I laughed. I was relieved that due to some kind family members and friends, Cousin Phena is back! It is important to reach out and touch our elders in our families and in our communities.

If you know someone who might experience sadness or depression due to isolation or lack of expressions of love, take time to REACH OUT AND TOUCH. You can truly make a difference and keep our seniors connected.